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alt_nevilleHullo, Colin. Thanks for agreeing to do this to help out my Dad.
Hullo, Dad.
(I just realised: I can write a private message to both you and Mum, but then you can't answer. Well, I suppose Mum could reply for you. Or I can write a private message to you and Colin, and you can have Colin reply for you, but Mum can't read it. I reckon eventually we'll figure out the best way to handle things.)
I've mentally started and scratched out this journal entry a bunch of times in my mind. I'm sitting in my dorm room with the curtains drawn round my bed. Dean's down in the Common Room, Seamus is working on an essay, and Ron's already asleep, and I'm thinking of you and wishing I could see you. I dunno why it seems harder to write to you than usual (well, except knowing that Colin's reading it. No offence, Colin, but it'll take a little time getting used to that). But I don't want you to think that it's harder to write to you because you can't do magic. Which makes writing to you seem even more important, which ties me up even more trying to write to you.
Which sounds really stupid, when you think about it.
Ev and I have had a couple of days now to absorb the news. Both of us want you to know that we're dead proud of what you did, all those people you saved. I know that you did it knowing you were willing to bear the cost, whatever it was. We're just sorry that cost was so high.
I've been thinking a lot about that, the last couple of days. Counting the cost. A lot of us in the Order have had to face questions like that. Even us still here at school. It's not the same, but I had to give up being in CCF. Some of the kids had to give up being honest with their families (glad mine's all in the Order).
You and Mum had to do that years ago, when you left Evelyn and me up to Gran to raise. It was hard for all of us, even if it was Gran. But when I saw Moddey Dhoo for the first time, I was so glad and so proud of you. Don't see how you could have got the sanctuary up and running if you were trying to protect two little kids while you were on the run. Seeing Moddey Dhoo and meeting all those kids you've saved made the sacrifice seem worth it. Remembering that makes me trust your judgement on this one, too.
I have more to say about school and all, and stuff going on in the Order, but I'm getting sleepy, so I'll save that for another time.
Love you, Dad. Give my love to Mum, too.
Hullo, Dad.
(I just realised: I can write a private message to both you and Mum, but then you can't answer. Well, I suppose Mum could reply for you. Or I can write a private message to you and Colin, and you can have Colin reply for you, but Mum can't read it. I reckon eventually we'll figure out the best way to handle things.)
I've mentally started and scratched out this journal entry a bunch of times in my mind. I'm sitting in my dorm room with the curtains drawn round my bed. Dean's down in the Common Room, Seamus is working on an essay, and Ron's already asleep, and I'm thinking of you and wishing I could see you. I dunno why it seems harder to write to you than usual (well, except knowing that Colin's reading it. No offence, Colin, but it'll take a little time getting used to that). But I don't want you to think that it's harder to write to you because you can't do magic. Which makes writing to you seem even more important, which ties me up even more trying to write to you.
Which sounds really stupid, when you think about it.
Ev and I have had a couple of days now to absorb the news. Both of us want you to know that we're dead proud of what you did, all those people you saved. I know that you did it knowing you were willing to bear the cost, whatever it was. We're just sorry that cost was so high.
I've been thinking a lot about that, the last couple of days. Counting the cost. A lot of us in the Order have had to face questions like that. Even us still here at school. It's not the same, but I had to give up being in CCF. Some of the kids had to give up being honest with their families (glad mine's all in the Order).
You and Mum had to do that years ago, when you left Evelyn and me up to Gran to raise. It was hard for all of us, even if it was Gran. But when I saw Moddey Dhoo for the first time, I was so glad and so proud of you. Don't see how you could have got the sanctuary up and running if you were trying to protect two little kids while you were on the run. Seeing Moddey Dhoo and meeting all those kids you've saved made the sacrifice seem worth it. Remembering that makes me trust your judgement on this one, too.
I have more to say about school and all, and stuff going on in the Order, but I'm getting sleepy, so I'll save that for another time.
Love you, Dad. Give my love to Mum, too.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-12-06 02:33 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-12-06 03:22 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-12-06 03:44 am (UTC)Good to hear from you.
There's no easy way to do this sort of thing. It took me a good day and a half to sort out what I was going to say to everyone. Nothing to feel badly about.
Besides, I figure now that we've started, it'll be easier to keep it up. Right?
It's easy to second-guess things after the fact. But the truth is, knowing what it's led to, if I had another chance to re-think things I'd still do what I did again in a heartbeat.
So that makes all of this a little easier to deal with.
The tough part is figuring out what I'm going to do now. But I'm working on that.